Feelings on Father’s Day

How am I doing this year?
I’ve been thinking about Dad extra amounts this week. More has reminded me of him. I’ve felt quieter and more subdued. I’ve been nervous about how today would be. 

This morning I’m trying to keep busy, but also keep in mind the knowledge that I can still celebrate Fathers Day. I have a wonderful Dad, that in twenty six years with me, gave me a wonderful childhood, advice and so much love. 

Looking forward, this time next year, we will be celebrating Father’s Day in a different way. We will be parents, caring for our gorgeous little boy or girl. A child far less fortunate than myself, in regards to parenting. Jim will step into that role. He will be wonderful. He is so much like my own Dad. 

Please don’t feel sorry for me, or any other grieving children today. Just promise me you will spend time with your own Dad’s while you still have the chance.

Hate breeds hate

I am saddened to see so much hate on my newsfeed this morning. 

So many close minded opinions, sharing of religious statements taken out of context and articles plucked from thin air to prove your way is right. 

I love a healthy debate. One in which each person in turn airs their views, open to be swayed by others in a way to understand eachother and consolidate what you believe.

I agree we have to challenge those that are doing wrong in our eyes, not to condemn but to understand why they think differently from us.

Next time you see hurtful comments or articles shared, instead of tutting and ignoring it, or sending hurtful comments straight back why don’t you ask a challenging open question?

E.g.

  • I am intrigued by your point of view. I would like to understand how you came to think this way?
  • I understand your anger, I am saddened by what is happening too. What do you think you or I can do to help on a day to day basis?
  • I am trying really hard to understand where you are coming from. Could you please send me useful links so I can research this for myself?

Can you hear the difference? It is obvious you are from another opinion, but you are open to be swayed or challenged. 

Maybe this way you will either:

  1. Receive a very well thought out answer that may help you understand where they are coming from.
  2. Have the opportunity to share your beliefs also in an open and relaxed discussion
  3. Or more hateful statements will be returned and at this point you can choose to leave the conversation or ask another kind and considered open question.

I am going to be selective on what I write and when. Maybe private messages rather than comment sections will be more amicable?

I have no idea if it’s going to work, but I can’t swipe passed anymore hate without doing something about it.

I would appreciate your support.

Please share your kind and open opinions on what I have said in the comments section below.

Remember love online, offline, always.

My Perfect Home

My home is tidy and clean.

The washing basket has a quick turn over, the kitchen sides are clear and my fridge door is magnet free.

Art on the walls have been carefully chosen, the walls are freshly painted and I have quirky little nicknacks placed ‘just so’ on my shelves.

Our TV stays on channels we want to watch, we can be spontaneous with our weekend and our night’s sleep is forever long.

This all sounds lovely right?

Like a 5***** place to stay right?

It is beautiful, but it is empty.

 

My home is empty.

You know, I would give it all up tomorrow for handprints on the cupboard doors, splashes up the bathroom walls, and questionable art displayed on the fridge.

For a washing basket full of muddy football kits and an empty fridge and freezer.

To replace the nicknacks for nappies.

BBC for CBeebies

Date nights with nights in

Long nights, with regular coffee breaks and bags under my eyes

 

My house would buzz with playful chaos.

 

 

I know what you ‘already parents’ are thinking ‘you’re just saying that because you haven’t got it yet’ , ‘just you wait!’, ‘enjoy it while you’ve got it’.

and I know you are right

but knowing it doesn’t fill the quietness.

 

 

you know?

 

All I’m doing is focusing on September.

In will bounce a busy little thing with their own chaos and I just want to soak it all up.

Im trying hard to enjoy the quiet while I have it. Im just excited.

you know?

 

 

Taking Risks

So I’ve recently decided that life is too short to not live fully, to not do what you’ve always wanted to do, to start ticking off that bucket list, to love Mondays and to take risks.

I am not a natural risk taker.

I am safe.

I stand back from the edge.

I follow the rules.

I do what is expected of me.

Well, not anymore.

For too long now I have been living for other people. Don’t get me wrong, it’s worked out pretty well, I have a great job, house, marriage, holidays, friends… but I know I am capable of far greater things.

For too long now I have stuck to what I know because it’s fine and it works.

I have so many creative ventures buzzing around my brain and I am desperate to fulfill them. They are over flowing and I can’t keep them under wraps any longer.

So…

I’m leaving my teaching career this summer.

I’m starting my own company.

I’m pursuing foster care.

I’m pursuing design.

I’m pursuing art.

I’m pursuing travel.

I’m pursuing film making.

I’m pursuing photography.

I’m pursuing charity work.

I’m dying my hair crazy colours.

I’m taking risks.

I’m stepping out to the edge.

I’m making mistakes.

I’m working it out as I go.

I’m following my gut.

I am so excited.

My dream job that combines all of these does not exist, I have to create it.

I am terrified.

I am scared what people will think, say, not say, do… but that’s all part of it. I need to try not to let that sway me anymore.

What is your dream?

What would make you look forward to Monday?

Okay.

Hi, alright?

Yeah, you?

Yeah….
Why do we do it to ourselves?

Why is it that we always have to be ‘alright’? Why is that the right answer?

 If it’s a genuine question, if you really wanted to know, then “alright” doesn’t really tell you anything at all.

But maybe that’s the point?

The asker doesn’t really want to know, and knowing that, we bat back our answer without a second thought on the real question.

How are you?

How am I?

…How am I?
I don’t really know. I’m kind of a bit of a muddle of everything I think.

But I’m okay.

Am I?

Oh I don’t know.

Is anyone okay?

Maybe I’m not okay and that’s okay? Okay?

Maybe I should just stick to ‘alright’, until I work it out anyway. It’s done me good this far. And ask: How are you?

No really?

Our first holiday ✈️

So we did it. Our first holiday.

And it was a great success!

We had such a wonderful time exploring Barcelona. It was a solid team effort to live each of our three days here to the fullest. We packed loads in and received many happy memories in return. 

Sore feet and smiles all round.

You would be so proud. 

We’re doing it.

Really doing it.

Together.