I’ve been seeing a councellor for three weeks now.
I wasn’t loosing it, I wasn’t angry, I wasn’t bitter or having twisted thoughts, I wasn’t crying all of the time, I wasn’t tired or depressed, I wasn’t suicidal or struggling with my marriage or at work.
But I don’t want any of the above to happen if i don’t have the toolset to help me cope with that.
I don’t want to be bitter.
I want to face grief head on.
It’s good too.
I like speaking about Dad. Remembering and enjoying telling a stranger about how amazing he was. Sometimes it all sounds to good to be true, like I am making it up. This makes me appreciate how truly lucky I am to have him.
Don’t get me wrong, its not all silly anecdotes and fond memories. Some feelings are raw and hurt very much. I need to learn to express and work through these feelings too. They are just not as easy to come through, when I am so used to looking for the positives all of the time.
I’m just saying, I’m pleased I am having councilling.
I am not ashamed of it.
I think it is a fantastic and free resource available to everyone and anyone and I couldn’t recommend it highly enough.
Every week I feel more and more accepting of my new reality.
Farleigh Hospice really do life changing work, with all that walk through their doors.