Feelings on Father’s Day

How am I doing this year?
I’ve been thinking about Dad extra amounts this week. More has reminded me of him. I’ve felt quieter and more subdued. I’ve been nervous about how today would be. 

This morning I’m trying to keep busy, but also keep in mind the knowledge that I can still celebrate Fathers Day. I have a wonderful Dad, that in twenty six years with me, gave me a wonderful childhood, advice and so much love. 

Looking forward, this time next year, we will be celebrating Father’s Day in a different way. We will be parents, caring for our gorgeous little boy or girl. A child far less fortunate than myself, in regards to parenting. Jim will step into that role. He will be wonderful. He is so much like my own Dad. 

Please don’t feel sorry for me, or any other grieving children today. Just promise me you will spend time with your own Dad’s while you still have the chance.

Hate breeds hate

I am saddened to see so much hate on my newsfeed this morning. 

So many close minded opinions, sharing of religious statements taken out of context and articles plucked from thin air to prove your way is right. 

I love a healthy debate. One in which each person in turn airs their views, open to be swayed by others in a way to understand eachother and consolidate what you believe.

I agree we have to challenge those that are doing wrong in our eyes, not to condemn but to understand why they think differently from us.

Next time you see hurtful comments or articles shared, instead of tutting and ignoring it, or sending hurtful comments straight back why don’t you ask a challenging open question?

E.g.

  • I am intrigued by your point of view. I would like to understand how you came to think this way?
  • I understand your anger, I am saddened by what is happening too. What do you think you or I can do to help on a day to day basis?
  • I am trying really hard to understand where you are coming from. Could you please send me useful links so I can research this for myself?

Can you hear the difference? It is obvious you are from another opinion, but you are open to be swayed or challenged. 

Maybe this way you will either:

  1. Receive a very well thought out answer that may help you understand where they are coming from.
  2. Have the opportunity to share your beliefs also in an open and relaxed discussion
  3. Or more hateful statements will be returned and at this point you can choose to leave the conversation or ask another kind and considered open question.

I am going to be selective on what I write and when. Maybe private messages rather than comment sections will be more amicable?

I have no idea if it’s going to work, but I can’t swipe passed anymore hate without doing something about it.

I would appreciate your support.

Please share your kind and open opinions on what I have said in the comments section below.

Remember love online, offline, always.

Okay.

Hi, alright?

Yeah, you?

Yeah….
Why do we do it to ourselves?

Why is it that we always have to be ‘alright’? Why is that the right answer?

 If it’s a genuine question, if you really wanted to know, then “alright” doesn’t really tell you anything at all.

But maybe that’s the point?

The asker doesn’t really want to know, and knowing that, we bat back our answer without a second thought on the real question.

How are you?

How am I?

…How am I?
I don’t really know. I’m kind of a bit of a muddle of everything I think.

But I’m okay.

Am I?

Oh I don’t know.

Is anyone okay?

Maybe I’m not okay and that’s okay? Okay?

Maybe I should just stick to ‘alright’, until I work it out anyway. It’s done me good this far. And ask: How are you?

No really?

Back to reality.

I start back at work tomorrow. Back to reality. I’m worried. 

Worried I can’t do it, and worried if I can.

 I’m worried people will want to talk to me and hug me and tell me I’m doing great. 

I’m worried people will have their own problems and not worry about me at all. 

I’m worried I won’t care about the little things anymore, and I’m worried they will matter too much. 

I’m worried people will think I’m doing better than I am.

I’m worried people will put demands on me, I’m worried people won’t treat me the same as the others.

I can’t win. 

And you can’t help me,

Because i’m making it impossible for anyone to do the right thing for me, because every eventuality will be hard. 

The fact is it all will be hard. No matter how I cope, no matter what people say or do or how they treat me, it’s going to be really hard.  

So, if you see me tomorrow, just smile. No more. That will help.

 It lets me know that you know. 

It lets me know you care.

If you don’t see me tomorrow, please think of us all. Please pray that we have strength, patience, energy and courage.

Thank you so much for caring. 

Thank you so much for thinking of us, the cards, the flowers, the dinners and everything. 

You guys are the best.