Hate breeds hate

I am saddened to see so much hate on my newsfeed this morning. 

So many close minded opinions, sharing of religious statements taken out of context and articles plucked from thin air to prove your way is right. 

I love a healthy debate. One in which each person in turn airs their views, open to be swayed by others in a way to understand eachother and consolidate what you believe.

I agree we have to challenge those that are doing wrong in our eyes, not to condemn but to understand why they think differently from us.

Next time you see hurtful comments or articles shared, instead of tutting and ignoring it, or sending hurtful comments straight back why don’t you ask a challenging open question?

E.g.

  • I am intrigued by your point of view. I would like to understand how you came to think this way?
  • I understand your anger, I am saddened by what is happening too. What do you think you or I can do to help on a day to day basis?
  • I am trying really hard to understand where you are coming from. Could you please send me useful links so I can research this for myself?

Can you hear the difference? It is obvious you are from another opinion, but you are open to be swayed or challenged. 

Maybe this way you will either:

  1. Receive a very well thought out answer that may help you understand where they are coming from.
  2. Have the opportunity to share your beliefs also in an open and relaxed discussion
  3. Or more hateful statements will be returned and at this point you can choose to leave the conversation or ask another kind and considered open question.

I am going to be selective on what I write and when. Maybe private messages rather than comment sections will be more amicable?

I have no idea if it’s going to work, but I can’t swipe passed anymore hate without doing something about it.

I would appreciate your support.

Please share your kind and open opinions on what I have said in the comments section below.

Remember love online, offline, always.

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Being a Mummy.

So I keep seeing these ‘Proud to be a Mum’ posts on my wall.

They are lovely. I am pleased you are proud. You should be.

I just can’t help thinking about all of the women (and men for that matter) that are trying so desperately to be parents.

These posts must be so hurtful to see. Like motherhood is some exclusive club they aren’t invited to.

In fact, I think part of me is hurt by them.

 

I think what bothers me is that this one I keep seeing asks for a photo. Like you have to have photo evidence for it to count?

But… Let’s just say….

what if you were pregnant, but lost your baby before birth, you would not necessarily have photo evidence, but you still have a right to call yourself a mother.

What if your child has died or been abducted? You may not be able to kiss them goodnight, but you still have the right to call yourself a mother.

What if you devote your whole life to helping others. Serving the poor or caring for the needy. You would not have your own children, but you still have a right to call yourself a mother.

You could be so desperately trying for that positive test, wanting and wishing, being turned down at every avenue. You may not be ‘successful’ yet, but you still have a right to call yourself a mother.

Or….Like me, you may have ten beautiful and very special children in your care. You not only teach them but love them unconditionally and are devoted to them and their families. I may not be allowed to post photos on Facebook of these utterly gorgeous children, but I still have a right to call myself a mother.

It is the unconditional love you feel for others.

It is the devotion to serve.

It is unrelenting care you give.

 

This is being a mother.

 

So from one mother to another, stand proud and own this title….

 

because you earned it.