Today is the day we meet our son

I have purposely not written lengthy blog posts about our journey since meeting him. I have given little hints on Instagram. The fact is, this is not my story to tell.

I didn’t think it fair that you guys knew things that he didn’t. He got told about us yesterday. I have no idea how he took the news. We meet him today, again I have no idea how we are going to be received. We’re prepared for the worst.

Foster care isn’t slow motions runs at each other with open arms. Foster care is cautious and heartbreaking. It’s confusing and just so darn hard. It’s joyful too, hopefully. All mixed into a muddy mess.

I can’t wait to see his face, having still never seen a photo, I’m desperate to see if my image of him is anywhere close. I can’t wait to hear his voice, see his mannerisms, start to learn him. Heck, start to love him.

Jim and I are nervous. We’re setting ourselves up. We’re both determined for this to work in the long term, in the short term our plan is to go with the flow. Roll with the punches. Take his lead.

I am so pleased we got here after all of those months. We first applied for foster care in May 2016! People that registered this Spring are at the same stage as us now. It’s mad, but I’m glad we were considered. This is a long term thing. We have to be right for him. Everyone else seems to think it’s a perfect match, I just hope that in time he feels that way too.

I don’t want to wish this week away. I want to soak in every moment and savour every piece of our lives and home as it is now. This is it. This will change us forever.

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We’re ready.

So our agency said our house is good enough to pass the Health and Saftey check which is the last piece of paperwork holding us back from bringing a little kiddo home.

I could not stop smiling all afternoon. I kept jumping and dancing and hugging Jim tight, thinking “how did we pull this off?”

It has been a crazy year renovating our house and going through this process. I remember the first time our social worker came over, the kitchen had been ripped out and the outside wall had been knocked down. There was dust everywhere and I was cooking on a gas stove on the floor. (See pictures)


Our Social Worker showed great faith in us and smiled, asking to see our drawings of what it will look like!

As time moved on, with Jim working every waking hour, we got closer and closer to completing our home. When we reached the point of decorating our spare bedroom I could not wait! I had been thinking about this room for a very long time.

It is now a beautiful bedroom with a mass of toys and books I’ve collected over the years. I can’t help but peek in every time I walk passed. I try and imagine what it is going to be like. 

Recently, my friend’s little girl played in the room as we caught up. It made my tummy smile to see these toys being used. She left a trail of chaos behind her and I soaked it all in. I left the toys how she had left them for a few days, not wanting to put them back in their place.

I’m so ready for my house to be a mass of chaos now. I hope when it does happen that I remember how desperate I was for it and not wish it away. I hope each time I tread on a Lego brick or find playdough behind the radiator, I remember how lonely  and empty my perfect little house felt without it.

So, we’re now at the marketing stage of the process. It’s when they let the Local Authority (LA) know about us. The LA will reply with possible placements they have. These will get sent to us for us to accept or decline. 

They are not expecting this process to take long, maybe a matter of days. They are expecting us to be popular as we are one of only two couples willing to place children with special needs in our agency (Which I think is shocking)

Thinking it may only be days, Jim and I had date night last night to celebrate. It might be our last for a while. It was lovely to speak openly about our wants and wishes, talking about what we are excited for and nervous about. We connected better than we have in ages. The relief of being at the next stage has lifted our spirits. It feels like it’s really going to happen.

I’m excited, more than anything, to see Jim become a Dad. He is going to be so wonderful, so kind and so patient. So understanding and so eager to do everything right by them.

I’m also excited to see family and friends, who have had updates for years, finally meet our foster child. Everyone will have a lot to learn from this little kiddo, I’m sure, me included.

I’m looking forward to reading bedtime stories, preparing school lunches, playing in the garden, bathtimes and generally being a full time stay at home Mum. I often feel like I’ve tricked the system knowing that I am getting paid to be a Mum. It’s what others could only dream of. I urge anybody that is interested in fostering to get in contact or follow along with our journey. Good foster carers are desperately needed.

So, I guess I will see you on the other side of Motherhood for my next entry. When I’m swearing at Lego bricks and praying for a chance to sleep!

Sounds like fun!

Infertility

We’ve been trying for a year.

If it worked straight away, I would be complaining of sleepless nights and sore boobs right about now. Instead we are booking doctors appointments to find out what is happening.

I don’t know what they are going to say. I honestly don’t mind either way, it’s just time we know now. So we can plan our family together, what ever that looks like.

It excites me that our children could be out there now, living and breathing and needing us now.

It sure is becoming a momentous year for us, in every which way.

 

#worldadoptionday

For those that do not know, Jim and I are in the final stages of becoming foster parents. It is something that has been on my heart for a long time. Even before we were married or had a house I knew I wanted to care for children that, through no fault of their own, have found themselves in the care of others.

Along the journey, as we have spoken to people about what we are doing, it has surprised me by the amount of people that are interested in fostering themselves, but have never taken the plunge.

I honestly was really nervous starting the process. I thought it would be intense and serious and invasive. That is not what I have found at all.

We are working and training alongside wonderful people. The agency we are working with are very friendly and approachable. They genuinely care and want the best for the children in their care. They seem to care about our wants and wishes and we have already built wonderful friendships.

The agency offer a huge range of training and advise for training and trained foster carers, so you never feel like you are on your own. 

They offer financial guidance and support to enable any suitable persons to foster. Whatever current financial circumstances look like. 

The process has actually been very enjoyable for us. We adore our wonderful form f assessor. She made us feel very at ease, as if we were talking with a friend.

We are now awaiting a date for our panel interview, to decide if we are suitable foster carers. We are hopeful that we will get the right answer.

Yesterday was world adoption day. There are 70,000 children currently in care in England alone.(2015 figures) This is a huge amount of children that will benefit from a loving and safe environment.

If you are interested in hearing more about our experience, the process in more detail or have any questions please do not hesitate to contact me either in the comments section below or through a private message. I would be honoured to play a part in your journey to foster care.

For now, please think of us as we finalise this process and begin our next chapter of our lives.

Xx

Becoming a Foster Mum

I started my interview process with our Form F assessor today. She is lovely and very easy to chat to. 

She asked all about my upbringing and struggles and adult life and relationships. It was intimate and invasive, but it was fine. 

In fact it was more than fine. I felt excited listening to her talking about what our children may be like and how we could support them. 

It is feeling more real now. Like we’re actually going to be parents. Like we will actually be entrusted with a child to love and care for. 

It feels right. 

I hope I am not being naive. I hope I am strong enough. I hope Jim is ready. I hope we make good parents. 

I suppose these are normal hopes for any soon-to-be parents to have.