I cried in Lidl.

It’s my assembly today.

I need to buy smarties to hand out to mask the fact I’m bloody shitting it and my hands are shaking and my throat is dry. Chocolate is a great distraction.

I go to Lidl.

I pick up the mini smarties.

I queue.

I queue.

I queue.

The till beside me opens.

“Would you like to come over?”

Bodies rush passed me. 

Trolleys brush the backs of my legs.

They were behind me.

They have more than me.

I ask

“I only have one thing. Do you mind if I…”

(After all I was in front of them)

The answer is no. 

I smile.

I say “okay”

I take my mini smarties back to the original queue.

I wait.

I feel a tear run down my cheek.

Why am I crying?

The man in front sees me.

He offers me his place in front. He has a kind face.

I cry more. I can’t stop.

I pay for my mini smarties with tears running off of my cheeks.

I smile at the concerned man.

I smile at the concerned cashier.

I leave.

Just like that.
I wasn’t crying because of the lady with the trolley. It wasn’t her fault.

I was crying because it’s all too much.

All of it.

just too much.
I did my assembly.

It worked, the smarties, my voice, my hands. 

Then I left.

Just like that.

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